Not A Toy

My heart is not a toy.

It isn't for you to play with.

Olivia McGuire

A Good Nurse

A good nurse quietly checks on you while you're sleeping.

A good nurse holds your hand and lets you know

you are going to get you through it. 

A good nurse offers to tuck you in your blankets.

A good nurse sees you are tired

and will help you with tasks like brushing your hair.

A good nurse lets you feel cared for, 

Not every nurse is a good nurse,

so I appreciate the ones who are 

because a good nurse is a

 blessing from God. 

Olivia McGuire

Over You

I want to be inspired.

 I love to be admired.

But honestly I'm tired.

 Oh don't you know I tried.

 I hate the way you lied.

 Here's to tears I cried.

And I died a thousand times

over you. 

Olivia McGuire

His Eyes

I do not care if my love to be

has blue eyes, green eyes, or dark eyes.

All I want is to be able to see
 the sea in them.

Olivia McGuire

Our Apartment

Sometimes when the rain doesn't cease 

I visit our high rise apartment through reverie 

It is beautiful there.

Our Arcadia doors provide us visions
of blue Arizona skies and desert mountains.

Sometimes in the morning
I make French toast

and serve us on the terrace. 

In the evenings we are often wrapped in each other's 

embrace on our white couch

or we're warm in bed with my feet

touching your legs

I am sick with lupus

but we are young and beautiful,

still full of hope,
and our love feels like it will never run out,
that no argument or trial could ever destroy us. 

I look around at our lovely things,
 the heavenly view

and at our lovely little life

and left incredulous

that this place is no longer ours

--that this life is no longer ours.

So I can only visit it with the one key I have left,
my heart
and there you are forever-beautiful
and happily waiting to see me.

Olivia McGuire

Magic World

I live in a magic world

a world of make believe

in my magic world

you will never leave

we live in a house

by the blue green sea

I'll stay pretty and healthy

you'll never tire of me 

we have two kids 

one surfs

the other plays guitar

we both anticipate

they'll be superstars 

we hardly ever fuss

we hardly ever fight

and when we're feeling hot

we tell the kids goodnight

I wish this world was true

and not inside my head

so I go to bed without you

and swallow pills instead

Olivia McGuire

A Talk at the River

Today's September weather was perfect: crisp air, sunny skies, and a blue cloudless sky.  So I decided to pick up my sixteen-year-old niece to enjoy it with her. We drove out to the park where we sat along the river on a bench talking about life.

I said to her, "It's a shame we can't stay with the people we love when we are young. I'll always love him and I'll probably never be with him again. It's so sad, so tragic, and yet beautiful."

"It is beautiful," she responded.

Surprised by her reply I asked her why she thought so.

She answered, "Because it shows you how long real love lasts."

Olivia McGuire

If I Take My Pain

If I take my pain and channel it into poetry or prose

I end up happy 

because I've turned it into something beautiful.

Olivia McGuire

Thankful

Though my income may be modest,

I am thankful it is steady,

and that God continues to provide

Though my neighborhood isn't fancy

I am thankful it's near love ones

and that God has kept us safe here

Though our house isn't my fantasy cottage

I am thankful that it is comfortable

with heat in the winter

and AC in the summer

Though I do not travel as often as I like

I am thankful for where I have visited and lived

and realize that not everyone

 has seen and experienced

what I have

Though I live with lupus

and live with incessant health challenges

I am thankful to be alive

and that God continues to heal me

I even beat cancer

Though I can't shop to buy all that I would like

I'm thankful there is a library where I'm free to borrow

all the books 

and DVDs that I want

Though I haven't met my mate in life
I am thankful for the peace and patience that 

 God gives as I continue to wait 

I am thankful to not frantically be looking

Though I have yet to be a famous writer

or earn a living from my writing

I am thankful God has given me a talent

and that I know the joy of being published

and doing stand-up

So I can look at my life

and see all that it lacks

or I can look at my life

and be thankful for all that it has

Are you thankful ?

Olivia McGuire

Moon In Her Eyes

If you look closely 

you can see the moon

in her eyes

radiating,

 a reflection of the sun

shining over the dark

Olivia McGuire

Our Neighborhood

My neighborhood has always had a reputation for being a bad neighborhood. So one day in defense of where I live, I tell my mom" We live in a good neighborhood, Have you ever noticed that robberies never happen here?"

My mother replies in her Filipino accent, "It's because the robbers are from here."

Olivia McGuire

God, You are my Healer

God, you are my healer

my hope is in you.

who am I to not to trust in you?

For you hung the moon 

and the stars, 

separated the sky 

and the sea,

made the sun

shine on me

Olivia McGuire

Looking for Good Christian Man

So I've decided to give this on-line dating thing another chance. I put on my profile I am looking for a good Christian man. A very attractive man sends me a very nice message and so I reviewed his profile. I liked everything he had to say except he isn't Christian. Seeming like a great guy regardless, I couldn't help but at least be polite enough to message him back.

I wrote: Thanks for writing me. I really liked what I read in your profile, but I did notice you aren't a Christian which is at the top of my list. That really stinks. How fast can you convert? LOL

Olivia McGuire

Summertime

sunny days

sunflowers

strawberries

starry nights

slurpees

saltwater

s'mores

smiles

equals summertime

Olivia McGuire

Snakes In the Grass

taste the lies on her lips

smell the stench in her perfume

hear the fake in her voice

be careful of her pretty garden

for there are many thorns,

and snakes in the grass

and if you listen closely 

you can hear the hissing

Olivia McGuire

Beach, a haiku

the sun and the shore

 waves rushing over my feet

momentary bliss

Olivia McGuire

The Night Air

 The night air was thick, but not hot, mildly warm with sweet lingering breezes that could be heard through the trees. A full white moon illuminated the black sky, all stars hiding. Sitting on the porch with the lights out she wasn't thinking of yesterday, wasn't worrying about tomorrow, but  simply in the moment, wondering about God's universe and contemplating fate and destiny; and soaking in the night air letting it scythe her soul. 

Olivia McGuire

Who's Pretty?

I once asked my nephew who he thought was really pretty, believing he would say someone like Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez, but instead he said, "You, auntie".

I was so touch and so flattered.

And then he said, "Auntie, can I have five dollars?"

Olivia McGuire

Love from an Aunt

You don't need to be a mother to love like one.

Olivia McGuire

Poets, Writers, and Lost Love

It is no wonder poets and writers

have written so much on lost love

They have all this love

inside of them

with nowhere to put it

but on paper

Olivia McGuire

Painfully Beautiful

I'm a lover who hasn't found her love

a writer who can't always write

a mountain hiker who can only 

climb in memories

I am full of life but chronic illness

has kept me from fully living it

I am like a sunny day 

when it is raining at the same time

I am twistedly and painfully beautiful
 

Olivia McGuire

Believe In Yourself

The difference between me

 and famous writers and poets

is I have yet to be discovered

Believe In Your Art

Believe In Yourself

Olivia McGuire

Dear Nellie

Dear Nellie,


I purchased a postcard  you wrote that was postmarked in 1910 from an antique store here in Virginia. You had sent it from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara, California, yet it found its way here, all the way to me on the East Coast over a hundred years later. It was addressed to a Mr. A.J. Peterson. It's a lovely postcard with a painting of a man driving a horse and buggy carrying a few passengers. Remember it?

Now that I am in the possession of this postcard, I can't help but wonder about you. Who were you and what were you like? Were you a young single woman when you wrote this card who went to parties and dances or perhaps you were married with children and spent warm sunny days at the park with your family? Maybe you were a little older and had never married at all and lived an unconventional life supporting yourself with work and were free to travel. Or maybe traveling wasn't an opportunity afforded to you but --still-- you dreamt of it.

You have beautiful penmanship Nellie. Were you able to get a good education? Did you read books and the newspaper? Did you ever voice your opinion on politics, the suffragette movement, or religion? Did you like music and the arts? Did you attend church on Sunday mornings and did you ever look upon the stars at night and felt with all your heart that God exists and was watching over you? Did you treasure little trifles such as ribbons, fancy hair clips, scented soaps, and silk gloves? Did you cross stitch by the fire and cook on a wood stove? Did you ever suffer from hunger or abuse or sickness; or was your life generally good? Or did you suffer from all of these things and still find good in your life?

Who was Mr. Peterson to you? Was he someone you much admired and in love with? Nellie, who did you love in life and did you marry him and grow old with him? Or did you secretly love someone else besides your husband whom you met prior to getting married and go to your grave with that secret? Did you have a great love or possibly two? And did they love you in return?

 Were you content with your life or did you want more? And did you eat plum pudding during the holidays and pick berries in the summer months? I know I'm bombarding you with questions you can never answer, but I imagine you have a good story and a life vastly different from mine, but perhaps we have somethings in common.

 Well, whoever you are Nellie, I hope that when you lived whether you enjoyed books, travel, or dancing that you found happiness and that you loved with all your heart and that your love was reciprocated and cherished to the end. And most importantly, I hope you felt the love of God.


Yours truly,
Olivia McGuire

Half My Age

Being in my forties,

I am open to dating 

a man half my age,

as long as his mother is dead.


Olivia McGuire

Over Time

when you are born to love

and have been waiting a long time

to meet the right person to love,

 but never meet them;

over time you can't differentiate

whether who you truly are is on hold

or if a prodigious part of you

is actually dying.

Olivia McGuire

Just Because

When my mom was a little girl there was no electricity in her village in the Philippines; and when the full moon would come out, she and all the children would come out to play delighting in its glory. It didn't matter that they were poor, and sometimes even basic needs were hard to come by. It didn't matter that they didn't have many toys to play with because they had each other, and played games like tag under the luminous moon. They would play in the streets and yards with shouts of joy just because the moon had decided to shine its divine face upon them. Are you ever happy just because of the moon? Are you ever happy just because...

Olivia McGuire

Visit

For Berry
In Loving Memory

I visit the most beautiful places

through imagination 

and reverie

It is how I am able

to be with you often,

still

Olivia McGuire

Sophisticated Words

It's true I love sophisticated words :

entreat

disputatious 

insolent

indolent

contentious

dejected

foreboding

diaphanous

cacophony

ethereal

enmity 

interpose

interject

scintillate

ominous

formidable

paramour

saudade

incredulous

ineffable

ductility

duplicitous

secular

apologist

and so forth...

So if you ever hear me use them,

it's not because I'm trying to impress

but that I love words

and am simply preserving the English language.

Olivia McGuire

Your Fancy Handbag

No one is impressed

with your fancy handbag which
costs hundreds of dollars

 Though it is nice to look at,

all it carries

 is your vanity,

your selfishness,

and your bills

Forget your handbag

Invest in your heart

Olivia McGuire

Let's Dance In The Garden

Let's dance in the garden
in the silage of nature

among the azalea flowers,
 violets, and roses

Let's dance in the garden
swaying to sweet breezes
to songs of yesterday
with earth beneath our feet

Let's dance in the garden
pressed against one another
and love each other madly

Come, let's dance in the garden


Olivia McGuire

Bra Shopping

So I went shopping for bras the other day. Let me tell you, it was exhausting! I tried on all these bras and nothing seemed to fit right. But-- then-- I felt brave enough to try on a Wonder bra. It pushed my boobs together creating cleavage and the look of ample round bosom. Truly, I looked like a-- whore-- in --heat. So I bought three of them.

Olivia McGuire

Love Like Snow

Our love was once like

a beautiful snowfall

pure and magical

Over time it became

soiled and ugly

turning to slush

eventually melting

all away

as if it had never been

Olivia McGuire

Oh Imagine

Imagine how lovely it would be to lie

 on a field of flowers

beneath blue skies, the warm sun,

and ethereal clouds

while scintillating winds

tingle your skin

as you bask in beauty and in life

without a care in the world

at least for a little while

Oh imagine...


Olivia McGuire

Searching

I'll take a a little magic

a miracle or two,

pagan god or Jesus

it doesn't matter who

Just looking for a little hope,

a better life for me

Buddha, Islam

I'll try the trinity

I'm tired of all this struggling

the pain I must endure

but my body is diseased

this I know for sure

So I meditate and I pray

 trying to get relief

but I'm always disappointed

no matter my belief

Forgive me if I seem fickle

I tend to change my mind

But I'm searching 

and I'm desperate 

Where is the great divine?

Olivia McGuire

Mesmerized, a haiku

Blue skies, blue waters

mesmerized by God 's beauty

while driving on bridge

Olivia McGuire

Travel Dreams, a haiku

I lie on the grass

watching planes fly in the sky

wishing I could go

Olivia McGuire



At The Diner

It was a March morning, gloomy and drizzling with rain, with a slight chill that reminded her winter was still not quite over. She wanted breakfast, atmosphere, and the sound of voices. So she drove to a local diner. She had wanted to make plans with friends this weekend perhaps lunch, or just hanging out at a friend's house binge watching some addictive TV drama but no one was available--story of her life. At the far end of the counter she sat with a book of poetry. She preferred to read novels, but she was a poet. Ordering French toast, a medium orange juice, and a side of corned beef, she soaked in her surroundings. Smoke rising from the grill, a table of small town folks talking about some wedding on the beach, and people in pairs at the counter making conversation. She was the only one who was solo, though it really didn't bother her. Both the waitress and the cook made friendly conversation with her and she was in quaint surroundings. That was enough.

Olivia McGuire

Photo by Olivia McGuire

Better Than Pretty

I am better 

than pretty

Pretty is fleeting 

and subjective

I am

 brave

strong

creative

hilarious

cool 

sensitive

compassionate

loving

poetic

talented

wise

loyal

caring

kind
protective
passionate
unique

I am better than pretty

I am beautiful

The Poetry

She is the the poetry

he can't forget,

the hurricane  

he almost didn't survive,

the love he will love

as he ages 

without her

Olivia McGuire

My Beauty

Oh my darling,
don't you know that time is the thief
of physical beauty?
So do not love me for my looks
for they will surely fade.

Love me for my true beauty,
my very essence

 Love my soul

Olivia McGuire

What Music Means To Me

Music is what connects me to my youth

 stirs all that is alive within me

 a flame to my darkest places,

and a way to hear from angels

Olivia McGuire

If A Comedian

Someone once said

if a painter or a poet 

has ever loved you,

you can never die

I, however, would like to say

if a comedian has ever loved you,

you're fucked. 

Olivia McGuire

Beautiful Experiences I Never Wish To Forget

 Dining at San Francisco's Chinatown

watching the rainfall from the window

chatting with my love above the cacophony of 

Chinese voices, banging pans, and flaming food.

Walking through mysterious

  Indian Ruins with him 

which looked out to the surreal

 and desolate Painted Desert

By ourselves, 

 feeling the gods

With another love

traveling the Moore's of England on

a cold yet sunny winter day

with endless rolling green hills

and English houses and villages

along the way

Drinking tea inside The Tate Museum

with a window view overlooking Big Ben 

and the Thames River

Basking on the sunny beaches

of A Hundred Islands in The Philippines

 with my mother and relatives

eating fresh grilled fish and squid

and swimming in the cool clear sea

Holding my niece for the first time

being so fascinated with her new born life

and gazing upon her lovely round face

as if an angel had been sent to our family

Cruising along the vast blue Lake Michigan

with my dearest friend

 enjoying food, wine, and beholding the

monumental Chicago skyline

Taking my mother, niece, and nephew

to the local art museum 

My ten-year-old nephew had

never been to an art museum before

and neither had my mother at seventy six

Engaging in many long conversations

around my friends' kitchen table while

either eating homemade pie or cake

and drinking coffee

Drinking ice cream soda in the quaintest town

in North Carolina with another good friend

Taking in the sights of Southern mansions
and black waters

Flying kites, fishing
and swimming with my father
on warm sunny days
before we lost him to cancer
when I was ten

Learning to do stand-up comedy
performing on stage
feeling euphoric
from the roars of laughter

And to think these are just some
 beautiful experiences

May there be many more
to come

Olivia McGuire

Silent Heart

Some may never get to say aloud 

that they love you,

but they feel it. 

Olivia McGuire

A Cynical Valentine Greeting

Jane Austin, author of romantic classic Pride and Prejudice,
never married and died alone.

Romance writer Nicholas Sparks, author of The Notebook,
has recently been divorced.

Happy Valentine's Day!


Olivia McGuire

My Heart, The Universe

If you could unlock my heart,

you would find 

a marvelous universe filled

with stars, comets, planets,

 and moons

This universe is 

 both scintillating and dark, 

and so deep

you will never find its bottom

My heart is a universe

within the universe

 And it waits for you

 to be lost in its vastness

and utter depths,
and show you its remarkable
beauty

It waits to tell you its secrets

Olivia McGuire

While I'm Alive

When I think of those who 

are no longer with us

it makes me appreciate

my life that much more

While I'm alive
unlike them

I can still smile

read a new book

laugh with friends and family

smell flowers

bask in sunshine
gaze at the sea

drink a cup of coffee  

listen to rain

thrive on music

take walks
travel to lovely towns

and big cities

take photographs

savor a meal

enjoy television

write poetry 

tell a joke

experience miracles
and answered prayers
meet new people
engage in conversation
attend a show
marvel at art
perhaps even fall in love
or finally write
that novel

Because while I'm alive

I can keep experiencing
 good things and new things

And possibilities are endless

Olivia McGuire

Journey With God

Dear God,

Life is such a crazy

often difficult

and beautiful journey. 

I'm so glad I asked you to come on

board with me on this ride

so long ago,

for I would truly have been lost.

Olivia McGuire

Tribute To Great Expectations

She walks in her wedding dress

it's faded and torn

Her heart is bitter

Her groom she mourns

Her groom did not die

but instead told a lie

And did not care
that he made her cry

  He took her money

and ran away

cruelly on their wedding day

 She lives in a manor

 it's dank and dark
Her looks are ghostly
Her features stark

 There is a wedding cake
one she did not eat
It's filled with mold
no longer sweet

She walks in her wedding dress
 it's faded and torn

Her heart is bitter
Her groom she mourns



Olivia McGuire

I Do Not Wish To Love

I do not wish to love

I do not wish to perish

my heart is mine alone

my heart is mine to cherish

Olivia McGuire

How The Sky Came To Be

The sky loved the earth so much

He found her beautiful and lush

and where she was barren in her deserts

he wanted to fill that part of her

But because he could never truly

touch his great love,

and could only love her from afar

he became forever blue

At times he cries in both his grief 

and joy of loving her

His tears we call rain

This is how the sky came to be

Olivia McGuire

Made You Feel

Realize it is OK

if ever my words make you sad.

It lets me know I've done my job

as an artist.

I've made you feel...


Olivia McGuire

When You Read

When you read
 any fantastical life is possible

You can fall in love with

a vampire with unmatched ethereal beauty,

or perhaps a warrior who has gold eyes
 and the bloodline of angels

You can befriend shapeshifters  

who turn into wolves 

and guard you with all their might

You can use telekinetic power
 and have the ability to walk through fire

to help you

  save the world from aliens

 You can go underground
to discover tunnels you never knew existed
that take you to different realms of the earth

You can cast spells to bring forth
beautiful snowfalls
and have lions walk at your side

  You can go to battle
 against a formidable faerie queen
and win a war

And you can stay forever young
when you read...


Olivia McGuire



I Shall Always

I never want to lose that part of me

that is moved by love and romance,

that cries in parts of books

or at the end of a movie

whether it be happy or sad.

 I shall always

 root for love to conquer,

and for the boy to win the girl

and girl to win the boy.

I think I shall always be hopelessly in love

even if-- I personally-- never fall in love

with anyone again.

Olivia McGuire

The Bachelor

Warning: Watching The Bachelor May Kill Brain Cells

Olivia McGuire

Ghost

You're a ghost that haunts me,

a memory so clear

a reality in my imagination

We always were

We never are...

Olivia McGuire

New Year's Wish

No matter what is to come,

may love and faith fill your heart.

Happy New Year

Olivia McGuire

Christmas Season Is Over

Yay, Christmas season is over!

 Now I can go back to being a bitch.

Olivia McGuire