Debris

I am the pretty flower that wilted

before you,

the autumn leaf that blew away,

the shooting star that

lasted only a moment

I still mourn who I was

All that's left is debris

Olivia McGuire



Reese's Cup

 

 

I believe if everyone in the world ate

 a Reese's Cup at the same time

we could achieve world peace,

at least for a moment.

 

Olivia McGuire

 



God's Voice

 

 

I could hear God's voice

in the rustling leaves and wind

"I am near" he said

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



Always

 

 

 

In life there are those we know only for a moment

yet we love them for always.

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Debt Trap

We're made to believe that we need a big house, certain cars, and all these things to be happy and successful. And you know who's feeding us all this bullshit? It's the housing industry, the car industry, and all the other industries selling you this lie, so they can be richer taking all your money. Don't fall for it. Don't try to keep up with the Jones's. Set your own pace, otherwise, you'll fall in their trap--the debt trap.

Olivia McGuire

Autumn Haiku

 

 

 

autumn leaves, blue skies

intoxicating magic

oh the loveliness...

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



God's Gifts

 

 

 

 flowers on the ground

 stars all around

birds in the sky

bright butterflies

the sun and the sea

 

God's gifts to you

and to me

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



Sadness

 

 

Here I sit lost in thought

lost in loneliness

and here beside me sits, Sadness,

who grips me into his soul,

but I feel so good

so safe tonight

because Sadness I know

is my oldest and most

faithful friend

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



I'm On So Much Medication

 

 

 

Man, I'm on so much medication that if a vampire bit me, instead of blood, he'd get side effects.

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Taking Doctor's Advice

 

 

 

My doctor called me yesterday to tell me to cut down on foods high in potassium such as tomatoes, bananas, and strawberries. So I'm doing as I'm told. Today I'm eating cupcakes.

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Poetic Kiss

 

 

His lips dripped poetry,

pretty words of seduction

I had never gazed into his eyes

or ever kissed his mouth

or felt his hand on my back

He was a mere stranger

but his words seemed to drip

on my skin

as he said them aloud

and I could feel every tingle

of his poetic kiss 

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Desert Meets The Sea

 

 

 

I had a dream where

the desert met the sea

I awoke to find

they were never meant to be,

again

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



Unlikely People Can Become Your Friends

 

To The People of First Congregational Church

When I Went There



 When I lived in Phoenix, I was shopping around for a church and had narrowed it down to two. One was down the street, a non denominational Christian church that played contemporary praise and worship music. People were of various races and backgrounds, many still young from 20s to 50s with families. My other choice was a lovely white historical church downtown with a tall spire of the UCC faith. It looked straight out of New England. This church sang traditional hymns, had an outstanding choir, and had one of those organs with giant pipes. Unlike the contemporary church, the people of this medium-sized congregation were homogeneous in that the majority of the members were retired seniors, and many of them even elderly. They were also mostly white with higher education, and some came from old money.  Both churches made me feel welcomed. Both had good pastors with good ministries but I was drawn to the tradition of the UCC church and its beautiful old  sanctuary. The people there also seemed to show so much interest in me and were just so kind. I was in my early thirties at the time. One Sunday in the pews I looked around at all the aging people and I realized that if young people like me didn't start coming, this church and its loveliness would die out. So I stayed.

It was probably one of the best decisions I ever made in life. These people who were many years my senior turned out to be a wonderful support to me and all were embracing. Any time I would be hospitalized, I received notes, cards, and visits. My pastor made sure to see me anytime I was in the hospital unless of course he was out of town. My friend Heather and her husband joined the church. They, like me, were young and she and I became instantly close and we both bonded with all the older women. So we did things like attend luncheons, throw tea parties, and I even came up with events like holding poetry readings and seeing independent films. And boy these members could throw a party! Every Christmas we had a party with a vicious gift giving and stealing game and there would be plenty of alcohol and food. Up until then, I had never gone to a church related party where they served alcohol, but these people knew how to have a good time. It was just so interesting to hear  the stories of their lives, families, travels, and what life was like before I was born. They were so refined and such decent people. One lady named, Evelyn, was a retired high school principal. She adored me and I adored her. I always got a kick out of being friends with a retired principle and having her over for lunch at my home when I had been such a wayward student in high school and some of my teachers didn't like me. Then there was Beverly who was a retired therapist of some sort with a Masters degree who was so dignified that she sort of reminded me of the queen of England. She always dressed up and didn't believe in wearing jeans. I wore jeans all the time. But she and I turned out to be very close and was one of my biggest supports when I was going through my divorce. I remember the first time she told me she loved me. She tended to stutter, but said it firmly and I was so moved by her words. I knew she didn't just lavish those words on just anyone.

Oh how I loved this church and its members. Some of them have died or are living in nursing homes and I haven't seen them in a few years, and highly doubt I'll ever see them again. But they'll remain in my heart forever and I'm so glad that day I looked around, that I decided to stay while I lived in Phoenix; and that I was open enough to befriend people much older than me and from a different breeding than me. They taught me so much. People don't have to be the same to appreciate and love one another.

 

Olivia McGuire

God's Plans For Me

 

 

After all the battles I have faced,

I am still here.

There must be a reason

God keeps sparing me.

Certainly, he has plans

for my life.

 

I just don't know

what it is yet...

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



Fifty Shades of Funny

  Once after an appointment at the hospital I was waiting for valet to bring me my car. I was sitting on a bench next to a voluptuous Black woman with a friendly demeanor and I noticed she was reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  Having read the series--yes, it is a series--I struck up a conversation.
I told her I envisioned Robert Pattinson as the lead male character, and she told me that she could see that; and that she really liked the book thus far.

"Yeah, you really should finish the series," I said." The second and the third book are even better and there's so much more to this story than just kinky sex."

"Oh, I will," she said enthusiastically. "My pastor's wife gave me all three books and highly recommended them."

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Passion Plenty

 

 

 

 

smell the fragrance in my hair

look in my eyes

lose yourself there

for I want you to kiss me

and take delight

here I am yours

today and tonight

do not be dismayed by

the scars on my skin

look at my smile

and beauty within

do not look at my age

and think me old

remember the love we

strongly hold

for we are still young,

though we're not twenty

but there's romance here

and passion plenty

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 



God Responds to the Butterfly

 

 

 

"God, " said the butterfly

I cannot fly

I cannot fly

My wings have been broken

by a monster

and he stole my colors too.

How will I ever reach the sky?

And will I ever have my

pretty colors back?"

 

"Do not cry my precious one,"

said God

 "for my angels and I

will carry you

and dip you in rainbows"

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



I Am A Butterfly

 

 

 

I am a butterfly

looking at the sky

but cannot fly

 

my lovely wings

are broken

and all my pretty colors

are fading before me

 

I am a butterfly

looking at the sky

I cannot fly

I cannot fly

I cannot fly

 

But I'll always try

because that is my nature

I am a butterfly

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



You Can Have My Heart

 

 

 

You can have my heart
if you don't mind that it's worn
and that it has many cracks,
several of them deep.
You can have my heart
if you are willing to try to mend it,
and keep it safe.



Olivia McGuire



Cold Rainy Night With You

 

 

 

I imagine when you're finally in my life

 that we're staying in on a cold rainy night

and I'm in my warm pajamas

 

we're eating pizza

 listening to music

 talking about life

and before midnight

we make love

 

 

Olivia McGuire



 

 

Lupus, You Make Me Sick

 

 

 

I went to see the doctor today

He gave me some bad news

talking about chemo and nasty other drugs
I started crying in his office
but held most of my tears back
because I'm lady-like like that

God, I don't want to go through
this shit again
feeling bloated, feeling sick, and feeling bad
Oh what happened to summer
it was such a blast
but I always knew
 feeling good wouldn't last

Lupus, you keep taking from me
but Bitch, you've already taken all I've got!
Now you're back with a vengeance
to try to put me in my place.
You make me fucking sick
--literally--
Please get out my face.

 

I'm so damn sick of tests
needles
and medication
I'm sick of chronic illness
and its horrendous frustrations.

Lupus, you make me sick
you make me sick
you make me sick
and I'm-- sick-- of you


Olivia McGuire



All Is Fair

 

 

They say all is fair in love and war.

 

Bullshit.

 

Nothing is fair in love and war.


Olivia McGuire

 



Rockstar

  This morning I was dreaming I was this badass guitarist in an awesome rock band rockin' black leather pants on stage down on my knees with my back arched to the ground playing a solo that would have made Hendrix proud. Then I woke up stifff, no talent, no hot band, no guitar, not even leather pants.

Olivia McGuire

What If?

 

What If?

What If?

What If?

What if never happened

so move on,

and accept What Is.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 



The Earth Loves

 

 

The earth loves both

the sun and moon

She loves the sun

because it gives life

and she loves the moon

because it is magic

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Better Prince

 

 

It's true I didn't get the happy ending,

but who says my story is over?

Somewhere out there must be

a better prince.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



Without The Moon

 

 

She was like the night sky

without the moon,

she was contended with the

stars that kept her company,

--yet something--

was missing

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Krispy Kreme

 

 

Eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut

is like eating a sweet cloud

of heavenly goodness.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 



The Sound

 

 

 

I love the crackling sound of old vinyl records,

the sound of children playing in the park

the sound birds make when spring arrives

and of wind against my window in winter time

I love the sound of the ocean as it sweeps to the shore

 I love the sound of laughter

when I tell a good joke

But most of all I love the sound of your

voice when you tell me you love me,

and I know that you mean it

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

 

 

 



Desert Highway

 

 

An endless desert highway

colossal colors in the sky

alone with you, speechless

 

 

Olivia McGuire



On Spelling

 

 

I am a tearable spellar.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Bedbugs

 

 

Goodnight sleep tight,

if the bedbugs bite

then stop sleeping

in sleazy motels.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Heart in Books

 

 

My heart is safer in books

than it is in your hands

So I read

 

 

Olivia McGuire



 

 

 

Primal

 

 

 

70 mph through the desert in his mustang

her soft lips caressing his ears, his neck, his chest

energies colliding he exhilarates at 100 mph

hard sounds of Nirvana thrusting

through the speakers

no sound could be better

except the sound of her breath

both raw, both primal

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Resolved

 

 

I am resolved in never seeing

you again

You'll remain

beautiful this way

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Cute Male Nurse

Once when I was hospitalized,

I had the cutest male nurse.

He made me wish I was

twenty-two again and gay.

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire



I Want to Be

 

 

I want to be the song you sing

the instrument you play

 the poem that speaks to you

the colors in your paintings

the taste on your lips

the sweet in your dreams

the stars in your skies

the breeze on your skin

the beat in your heart

the blood in your veins

 

I want to be the story
you read again and again

I want to be...


Olivia McGuire



Lonely House

I can see your house is lonely

my dearest Annie

there with your husband

who dwells as if he were a ghost

Wishing you lived nearby

so I can keep you company

and you can also keep me company,

for my house is lonely too

 

 

Olivia McGuire 



 

 

 

I Am a Girl

 

 

I am a girl who is captivated by full moons,

who still dances though one knee is broken,

who laughs at herself and at life.

 

I am a girl who soaks up music and a good book,

a girl who calls on God in times of trouble,

and praises him in good times and bad.

 

I am a girl who loves friends and family,

a girl who enjoys the caress of cool winds,

a girl who loves ice tea and candy.

 

I am a girl who's a hell of a fighter,

a warrior you might say,

but I'm also a girl who cries and whose

heart can hurt deeply.

 

I am a girl that still believes in true love with

happy endings though my relationships sadly ended.

I am a girl who is starry eyed, yet afraid.

 

I am a girl...

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Walls

 

 

 

 

When it comes to love my walls are high.

Are you willing to climb?

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Slurpee In His Hand

I picked up my ten-year-old nephew a few days ago. We didn't have a destination, not the park, or the ice cream shop, or even the bookstore. But I knew he was bored on this hot summer day with time on his hands while my niece and her mom shopped, and as my brother slept after working the graveyard shift. We stopped by 7-11 and I purchased my nephew a Slurpee and we were off. I played The Almost Famous soundtrack in my car since I abhor the radio, at least radio around here. So I'm always playing a CD usually rock genre. I like everything from The Rolling Stones to Radiohead to The Beach Boys to Nirvana. My nephew was so cute sitting beside me with his black bangs, healthy full cheeks, and big dark eyes.

In his sweet boyish voice he said to me "Auntie, if you weren't around, my sister and I would only know the Beatles" since that is the only cool rock band my brother has ever introduced them to. "But because you're around", he continued, "we know all the cool bands!" It felt good that he acknowledged this. It was true that I introduced my niece and nephew to a lot of things like good music, books, TV shows, movies, and yes, even Slurpees. I am, after all, the most American-minded adult in the family.

The song "The Wind" by Cat Stevens, then played which is a lovely little tune and I couldn't help but feel sentimental with him in the passenger seat, a little ten-year-old boy with a Slurpee in his hand. I realized this was the only summer he would be ten and that his childhood would soon be over; and that there was nothing I could do to slow down time. So even though we weren't doing anything special but taking a drive, I knew that this moment in time with him would become a fond and dear memory to come. And I could only hope that he'd always see me as the coolest auntie.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Music is

 

 

 

Music is life to me.

 

Olivia McGuire



Flight 370

 

 

 

If that Malaysian airline had owed the IRS money,

 it would have been found.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

                                          

Wishful Thinking

 

 

Wanting to fall in love again

and having my love returned

is like wanting to run my fingers

through a rainbow

and have the colors

run down my hands

 

Either way, it's wishful thinking...

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

 

To Thrive

 

 

Air, water, food, shelter

is what you need to survive

 

Love, music, art, and beauty

is what you need to thrive

 

 

Olivia McGuire



A Fighter's Poem

 

 

Most of my adult life I've fought demons

and monsters,

yet I live.

 

Back off lupus and cancer

this bitch can spar.

 

Olivia McGuire



Beautiful Wedding

 

 

Do you know what I dream of?

I dream of the most beautiful wedding.

I want

the long dress

the tall cake

and the perfect venue.

After all, you only get married twice.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



Listen To The Rain

 

 

 

Listen to the rain

it's like music

with heavy notes and light notes

rhythm and crescendo

it ebbs and hurries back

oh listen to the rain,

notes falling from the heavens

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



Fill Yourself

 

 

When you cannot expel the bitterness

inside you

fill yourself with God's love

to dilute all that ugliness

that's deep within

and eating your happiness

 

 

Olivia McGuire



Possibility

 

 

I will never again think of myself as a failed writer,

instead, I am a writer with possibility.

 

 

Olivia McGuire



 

 

 

 

Brilliantly Made

 

 

your heart beats

your lungs breathe

your legs walk

your fingers touch

your soul feels

your mind thinks

your ears hear

while your eyes see the

magnificence of the universe

 

you were brilliantly made

and meant to be here

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 



You In Photos

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you look great in photos

and sometimes you don't.

Choose to believe you look like

your better photos.

 

Why not live life a little happier?

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

Real Love

 

 

Real love never dies

if I told you long ago I loved you,

my word is still good


Olivia McGuire



You Chose

 

 

You chose your demons over me,

I have to wonder

how is hell...

 

 

Olivia M. McGuire

 



I Can See You

 

 

 

I can see your race, gender, clothes, and sexual orientation.

I can also see your job title or lack thereof,

the car you drive or don't drive.

I see your victories and your challenges,

but what I look for most is your heart.

 

Your heart is who you really are.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



I Want Romance

I want passion.

I want romance.

I want adventure.

I want someone who would go 

to the end of the earth to find me

and slay a dragon if he had to.

I want love that is tested

and proves to be undying.

I want to write a novel that
 will have you weeping.

Olivia McGuire

My Star

For My Niece and Nephew

My Star

One day I want a star named after me

so one day when I'm gone

you can look up at the sky

and whether you see my star or not

you'll know I'm out there somewhere looking

out for you.


Olivia McGuire





God's Presence

 

I felt God's presence today

He kissed me through the breezes

as I walked through the woods

 

Olivia McGuire

 

It's not that I dislike intellectuals,

but I tend to prefer people

who are down here on earth with me.

 

Olivia McGuire

My Darling

 

In the vast desert, the green forest,

and the wild sea

my darling, my darling

you are all of me

 

Olivia McGuire

Life Is An Amazing Journey

 

Life is an amazing journey.

So even if you are at a place where things seem barren,

keep driving...

 

 Olivia McGuire

 

 

 



 

I'm neither weird nor crazy,

you're just boring.

 

Olivia McGuire

I'd Rather

 

I'd rather go to my grave

still believing in my dreams

to come true

than live a lifetime

without my hopes

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Sometimes I Feel

 

Sometimes I feel

beautiful

powerful

safe

whole

confident

smart

and kind

 

Sometimes I feel

ugly

weak

afraid

broken

insecure

stupid

and mean

 

Sometimes I am everything in between

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Record Player and Vinyl Records

 

Happiness is your record player

and your old vinyl records.

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

Photo by Olivia McGuire



 

Joy Division and The Cure

are good on gloomy days.

 

 Embrace The Dark

 

 

Olivia McGuire

I Win

You think I'm immature.

I think I'm fun.

I win.

 

Olivia McGuire

A Lost Love

 

 

A lost love is like the full moon

bright, luminous, mysterious

Seems so near and so

far away at the same time

It hangs over you, right above your head

yet it is impossible to touch

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

Chasing Full Moon

 

 

I'm chasing a full moon.

Please God, help me catch it.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

A Mother's Loss

 I remember once on a very cold and gloomy day I was craving cookies. So  I braved the cold just to get cookies from the store. I ran into this mother who lost her son in the Iraq war. I had met her at the local doughnut store the year before and she told me their tragic story. I recognized her immediately and asked her how she was and she told me she was good. Of course she wasn't. The pain in her face was deep and telling. I really wanted to reach out to her and hug her right there in the store. But because I hardly knew her, I didn't. Instead, I drove home in the rain and cried.

 

 

 

Olivia McGuire

Robert Pattinson

 

 

Yes, I'm in a relationship with Robert Pattinson. He doesn't know who the hell I am but that's beside the point.

 

 

Olivia McGuire

 



A Good Writer

A good writer breaks your heart.

Olivia McGuire

 

Always Love Me

 

Olivia McGuire

 

 

 

 

 

The door is closed

for now...

 

Olivia McGuire



 

a cup of tea

rain beating on the roof

a good hardback

enjoying myself

 

Olivia McGuire

 



Cake

 

 

Cake is my favorite food group.

 

Olivia McGuire